a few words on integrating the sacred whore……
So, firstly I want to say what a worthwhile cause this is!
We have had centuries and centuries of demonising women’s sexuality, of calling it dirty, shameful, dangerous even , and most definitely unholy.
So having whore and sacred in the same sentence for many is a revolution in itself!
There has been centuries of women as property, belonging and beholden to the husband, or their family, and having no social status or safety without being married.
Centuries of women disconnecting from their own source of pleasure and power to seek safety by being agreeable, by being compliant, by opening her legs to secure her position.
But,
I’m wondering whether you think that’s all going to go away because we now host workshops that are about integrating this archetype? The Neo-Tantric world is rife with these experiences in retreats, initiations and workshops, promising the mysterious gifts of power and magnetism by leaning into all your edges and discomfort and giving your power away to ‘The Temple’?
However, the deep UNCONSCIOUS programming that lives within our COLLECTIVE psyche (maybe you can’t sense and feel it individually but it lives in our culture!) We aren’t fully in contact with it necessarily
It’s underneath
It's in Neo-Tantric Communities, Trainings and Programs, it's in spiritual communities, its present even today in our modern culture, sometimes just as a flavour behind things.
Its in our behaviour & thoughts
and even in our desire to heal and change.
It’s perpetuating a belief that in order to be fully in your power as a woman, you need to be well -f#@ked and f#@able.
It’s teaching women to rely on their desirability, and s*xual power as collateral.
I say, this is part of the collective trauma spell we need to unhook from.
It is exactly this type of BS that is making us feel less than, defunct or not performing correctly in the bedroom AND it drives sales to these workshops, that are appealing and tantalising to the parts of us that feel powerless.
But…
Do you think its possible to unhook from this conditioning
by going through intense cathartic processes or being in high pressure sexual group experiences?
I think not.
A big part
Huge part
Of integrating something as profound as the Sacred Whore is feeling SAFE in your body, no matter what.
Of knowing how to intuit, interpret and listen to the quiet signals within the body that are whispers of what it wants, needs and desires to be able to open and surrender and FEEL GOOD!
This is pretty hard to do in a group situation unless you have stealth like ability to feel into and sense your needs, desires YES”S and NO’s.
For most of us, the technology inside of us that does this is damaged because of the TRAUMA (particularly for female identifying folk) around sexuality and body sovereignty.
Our own developmental trauma, also makes the signals in the body harder to sense, feel and communicate. The developmental trauma of neglect and not having needs attuned to and met as a child, emotionally, psychologically, physically will create a disconnection fro our own desires and needs. Or being the caretaker in our family of origin, and prioritising the needs of others forsaking our own - in an attempt to create connection and safety and ultimately to hopefully get our needs met also creates a pattern of overriding or ignoring your own needs, boundaries and limits.
You see how all of this can become the perfect cocktail of disconnection to oneself and ones body?
My recommendation for ANYONE wanting to explore their sexuality in a group space especially something as extreme as the sacred whore is to do your deeper nervous system work first.
Learn about your own physiology, what your tendencies and patterns are especially when in a pressure situation where you are detecting some level of threat (which happens a lot in group experiences where we want to feel seen, heard and valued the youngest parts of us come online and we inhabit their survival physiology cos that’s what we learnt from early on to try to fit in, remain connected, be liked or loved or valued)
You at the very least need to know how good you are at boundaries, consent, communication from an embodied perspective not just talking the talk but feeling it too! Not just being able to say the right thing, talk the lingo. You gotta feel it, know it and be stable in your ability to do that.
Please don’t be tempted by promises of FAUX POWER, SOUL AWAKENING that feeds the hungry little part of you that feels powerless.
TEND to that young ones needs first, fully own, embrace, love and protect her, she IS your power.
I wish I had know this back when I started my journey into the Neo Tantric World some 12 or so years ago , but I didn't so I’m shouting it out now to those curious about the world of Conscious Sexuality and Neo Tantra.
Don’t step into these containers in THE PURSUIT OF POWER, do your deeper nervous system work and then go explore those places maybe FROM A PLACE OF POWER, curiosity, and playfulness.
Knowing and being completely stable in the fact that you can engage as fully or as little as you wish in a group space and feel totally ok about that.
People give their power away in group situations like workshops because they think they might get something through the experience, abandoning oneself in the pursuit of gaining something.
But this is an oxymoron, you cannot gain anything by abandoning yourself, in pursuit of some sense of wholeness, or Soulful experience or Power,
and
it's by losing connection to yourself that the damage is done.
Be discerning
If you would like to work with a skilled somatic coach who can support you to feel and sense your own intuition, boundaries, needs and desires, and integrate a healthy empowered s*xuality then jump on a discovery call to check out if my Evolve program is right for you.
Artwork DavidDeFigueredoArt
