THE #1 MISTAKE PEOPLE MAKE ON THEIR HEALING JOURNEY

When we are in a place of struggle — and on a journey toward healing that — we might want things to move quickly. To take huge gigantic leaps forward in no time at all.

Done. Healed. Cut to the happy ending.

I totally get that. 

Especially if you feel like your life is on ‘hold’ while you’re still in the struggle or something is riding on your ‘getting through this’.

However, as much as you’d love to find the results faster, white-knuckling through your healing journey isn’t the answer. It isn’t what’s going to create lasting change, the kind of change that you can integrate into your daily life.

The key is to actually take your healing work in tiny doable steps.

Tiny. 

Doable. 

Steps.

Otherwise we run the risk of becoming a perpetual seeker, forever in the search of the next high, or peak experience, amazing workshop that can fix us, or give us this quantum leap out of the messiness of being human we so desire. 

Marketing in the wellness industry has been all about quantum leaps, radical change and many promises of life-changing workshops/coaching/experiences for the wellness shopper to choose from and keep choosing from. 

In fact they often thrive on us needing to keep coming back to get that fix.

However, what I know about tiny doable steps over time is that this way of working creates lasting change.

ITS CHANGE WE GET TO KEEP

Why? Part of it is to do with the ability of integrating the changes into your life. For instance, research has shown the most effective way of committing to healthier habits in one's routine is to set small doable tasks rather than trying big bold changes and failing because it wasn’t sustainable….

 AND 

…..our physiology doesn’t like radical, fast, or different. When it’s met with too much of that it will often revert back to how it was before as the familiarity feels safe and that's what our body wants. 

Sometimes even positive change that’s too big and too quick can be perceived by the body as a threat and we can’t integrate the changes. Instead we go into fight or flight or freeze on some level or more than one level of our being.

This can show up in many ways, for example, lotto winners who receive large sums of money but end up within a few years broke again as it wasn’t change they could integrate and their bodies didn’t have the ability to feel safe under such drastically different conditions (even though potentially positive). So they could go into flight and spend all the money to get rid of it, or freeze unable to think clearly about what to do, or fight to defend themselves from people who feel entitled to their fortune. 

Another way this can show up is with receiving love and affection. If we haven’t ever felt truly loved, tended to, cared for or had an empathetic listening and attentive partner we might not trust it, our bodies might perceive the love coming towards us as a threat and not be able to receive it and take it in. 

Anything that feels drastically different can be interpreted by our physiology as unsafe. We may even reject it and run back to the familiarity of aloneness, or being with someone who isn’t loving as that feels normal. 

This is also where sabotaging behaviour can show up.

It can also show up in a myriad of ways with having our needs met. It's one thing to be able to feel and sense a need, another to be able to articulate it and trust it can be met, and another to actually receive and allow our needs to be met.

So in order to really change, to integrate change that we can keep from a physiological perspective, it's better for that change to be incremental. This allows for change to happen without setting off the body’s alarm bells.

That’s why when I work with people, we are just looking in the session for the next doable piece. Any home practices are doable, offer a chance to integrate what has happened or offer a gentle stretch into what’s on the verge of integrating.

I can say it's such a beautiful, relaxing, nourishing way of working, that, after seeing and feeling the results, I now deeply trust.

If you’re feeling something light up in you as you read this and want to try this way of working, I offer 1:1 coaching. 

The EVOLVE Coaching package is here to help you transition through whatever you’re going through (big feelings, big changes, or big questions) over a 3 month container (and longer if you choose). 

Curious and want to have a chat about what’s going on for you and see if these sessions might be the right fit?

Book a free 30-min ‘check the fit’ call with me

All great journeys began with just one small step.

Ready to start yours? 👣

P.S. If booking one single session feels like the next doable step before deciding to commit a whole 3 months, that’s okay too 😉 Book a FREE 30 min ‘check the fit’ discovery chat.